almost 5 years

In August it will have been 5 years since my grandfather passed away. He was a simple man he ran a very successful car dealership. He only made it to 8th grade, and he joined the marines. He was in the Korean war and he left there with a purple heart a bronze star and a silver star. He suffered multiple injuries in Korea but I never heard him speak of the war. We were very very close he was about to move into my mothers house I couldn't have been happier. I joined the army to follow in his footsteps and went to basic training. Just two weeks after I got back he went into cardiac arrest. I was so angry I wasted all that time gone that I could have spent with him. I was angry because he always seemed so invincible I was angry for him making me think he would always be around and now he wasn't. I knew in some part of me that it was going to happen soon but I was not prepared for it. When I was told I went into my room threw everything I could get my hands on and left for school. The worst was yet to come. Like I said my grandfather was a simple man so he didn't mention very much in his will. Which drove my family apart we went from getting together with aunts and uncles and cousins every holiday and every birthday to not speaking for almost 5 years now. It was all so ridiculous and childish after all it is just stuff it can not bring my grandparents back. But people tend to hang on to the things of the ones who have passed. I don't while it is nice to have something I wouldn't risk the relationship with my siblings over stuff or money. I love them to much and I respect my parents to much. I miss my grandpa very much, I can't honestly say I have ever dealt with him passing I never think about it. I don't look at pictures or tell stories I don't deal with it at all. I have been to the grave site once since my grandparents passed. And I am not sure I can go again. I do think my grandpa died of a broken heart he missed my grandma so much and I am glad they are back together even if that means I can't see them.

My son

My son was amazing from the very first day he was born. He has lit up my life like nothing ever could. He has given me purpose and I can only repay him by being the best mother I possibly can. My child is much like my husband and I in good ways and in some not so good ways. He is just as stubborn as the both of us but hopefully he will use that for good one day. He is funny and quirky like us. And he is so smart I think he mostly gets that from my husband. He is hard to wake up and he loves to be outside. He loves his family and shows it all of the time. He is playful and somber all in one. It is so strange how characteristics transfer genetically. I hope for my son that he is a good person. I know he will not have to deal with half of the things my husband and I had to when we were children. My son will not be plagued with addiction or abuse of any kind which was the unfortunate reality for us. I think free of these things my child will be so much better than I could ever be. I just hope and pray that I can support him and guide him down a happy life path. Isaac I love you.