Learning from the recession

This morning I read an article on Yahoo News about a woman and how she looks at life differently since the recession happened. I hadn't really thought about how my view on life, work, and money may have changed since the economic down fall. In fact my view on many things has changed significantly. It changes you to see families struggle moms and dads barely able to feed their children when a few years ago they were thriving. Highly educated individuals working wherever they have to just to keep food on the table and the lights on. But I think it's brought most of us myself included back to what is truly important. Although my two jobs can weigh on me and I can get very worn out I am incredibly grateful to be working, comfortable, and not worrying about money. My husband and I realize how important family is and no longer hold great value in materialistic things. Instead of racking up debt, paying bills late, and spending like crazy we are fortunate enough to both have good view on spending money. We see paying bills on time as an accomplishment. We both know that if we don't have money to go out we can still have a good time together and with our children. I am proud of us to be honest I think in spite of what our age dictates we are financially responsible. I don't know how I would think had the recession not happened. I just know that I learned from it, I knew I didn't want to be one of those people jobless, broke, and lost. I will work my ass off for as long as I have to having multiple sources of income so I am never without a job. I am glad that I learned from the recession I am glad I am not still oblivious and spending only to later become a burden to my peers. I promise you this I will continue to be financially responsible so you don' t have to pay for my debts. But can you make me the same promise? I hope so.

the kids

After trying for a full year to get pregnant we finally welcomed our little girl into the world last April 18th. Luckily our son now 3 is in love with his new baby sister and life is as it should be. Being a mother of two and being 23 is terribly difficult. I am still trying to figure out my calling in life but in the mean time Chad and I both have good jobs and are financially stable and fairly comfortable. It's nice to not have to worry if something pops up unexpectedly. I know most parents our age aren't doing as well as we are so I am proud of us. I constantly worry about how we are doing as parents and as people in general because of our age, but have come to the conclusion that my age does not define me. My children aren't doomed and I am not stuck in poverty because I had children young and haven't quite figured out my career path. All that matters is that I do the best I can raising my children and teaching them and providing a good life for them. People expect me to be terribly screwed up and a bad parent because of how I look and my age but all I can say to them is what you see is not what you get.

Isaac the great

So the other day my son turned two. Is it strange that seeing my little baby become a little boy makes me sad? In so many ways it seems as if he has always been a part of my life, like I have always been a mother. I forget that I had a life before and I wish I could forget who I was before my son. It's amazing how he could change me so much change my life completely. All of the good that I have become I owe to the Lord for giving me my little boy. I feel blessed that God trusted me with this little person. It shocks me how much of myself and my husband I see in our son. He is stubborn, persistent, and funny. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on or will every lay eyes on. I only hope I can be the mother he deserves that I never let him down and that I am not ever selfish. I pray I never forget to always think of him first and think of the impact my decisions will make on him. I know what not to do as a parent I have good examples of that and I just need to trust my instincts on what to do. I know for sure I love my son with everything and I am so so grateful that he is in my life.

HOW?

I don't know how single mother's do it I have a new found respect for them and wives with husbands deployed. My husband was only gone two weeks and I am completely exhausted. I loved the alone time with my son we played hard and slept harder lol. But he was so excited to see daddy again he followed him around like a puppy. I am so glad that my son has such a connection with his daddy it's something I never had. It makes me think that we are doing the right thing and that we are doing good by him. That he would miss his daddy so much and be so enthused to see him again it made my heart smile. I wish my husband would never again have to leave us but him being in the army national guard I not that is not possible. I can only pray that he is brought home safely each time he must go.

parenting articles drive me insane

My husband is absolutely convinced that reading all of these parenting articles is going to drive me insane. I have to say I thoroughly agree. I read about sleep, development, exercise, potty training, nutrition, to much sun, not enough sun. All of this information changes frequently as well. There is always some new study by some doctor saying this now harms your child. We have done it this way for 20 years but now it harms your child. Here is the facts to much of anything could be bad for you t.v. or sun. All of it can be bad for you ALL OF IT! I can't drive myself crazy and my child crazy trying to do everything like everyone says I should. God gave me motherly instincts for a reason and I need to use them. Every once in a while I don't know how to handle a situation and at that time I will hit the internet or read a chapter of a parenting book. But no longer will I obsess over what my child should be doing when. He is smart he is learning he is growing he is adorable and he is just fine to me.

almost 5 years

In August it will have been 5 years since my grandfather passed away. He was a simple man he ran a very successful car dealership. He only made it to 8th grade, and he joined the marines. He was in the Korean war and he left there with a purple heart a bronze star and a silver star. He suffered multiple injuries in Korea but I never heard him speak of the war. We were very very close he was about to move into my mothers house I couldn't have been happier. I joined the army to follow in his footsteps and went to basic training. Just two weeks after I got back he went into cardiac arrest. I was so angry I wasted all that time gone that I could have spent with him. I was angry because he always seemed so invincible I was angry for him making me think he would always be around and now he wasn't. I knew in some part of me that it was going to happen soon but I was not prepared for it. When I was told I went into my room threw everything I could get my hands on and left for school. The worst was yet to come. Like I said my grandfather was a simple man so he didn't mention very much in his will. Which drove my family apart we went from getting together with aunts and uncles and cousins every holiday and every birthday to not speaking for almost 5 years now. It was all so ridiculous and childish after all it is just stuff it can not bring my grandparents back. But people tend to hang on to the things of the ones who have passed. I don't while it is nice to have something I wouldn't risk the relationship with my siblings over stuff or money. I love them to much and I respect my parents to much. I miss my grandpa very much, I can't honestly say I have ever dealt with him passing I never think about it. I don't look at pictures or tell stories I don't deal with it at all. I have been to the grave site once since my grandparents passed. And I am not sure I can go again. I do think my grandpa died of a broken heart he missed my grandma so much and I am glad they are back together even if that means I can't see them.

My son

My son was amazing from the very first day he was born. He has lit up my life like nothing ever could. He has given me purpose and I can only repay him by being the best mother I possibly can. My child is much like my husband and I in good ways and in some not so good ways. He is just as stubborn as the both of us but hopefully he will use that for good one day. He is funny and quirky like us. And he is so smart I think he mostly gets that from my husband. He is hard to wake up and he loves to be outside. He loves his family and shows it all of the time. He is playful and somber all in one. It is so strange how characteristics transfer genetically. I hope for my son that he is a good person. I know he will not have to deal with half of the things my husband and I had to when we were children. My son will not be plagued with addiction or abuse of any kind which was the unfortunate reality for us. I think free of these things my child will be so much better than I could ever be. I just hope and pray that I can support him and guide him down a happy life path. Isaac I love you.